For someone who very much lives for the weekend, it’s not been such a great one. Friday night I found myself feeling overwhelmed with the impact of several pieces of bad news ranging from minor niggles to something potentially life changing. I’m not going to lie. I got upset. Really upset.

Saturday rolled around and I found myself feeling completely drained from it all; and it kind of hit me. Getting upset. It’s sort of, pointless. As much as a good cry sometimes makes you feel better, ultimately it doesn’t achieve anything. Sitting wallowing to yourself is just a waste of time. I took pride in the fact I was able to push those emotions to the back of my mind when someone I loved was obviously feeling the same. Making them feel better became a priority. That gave me a positive boost; that it can be done, emotion can be quashed when something more important crops up.

I can’t tell you what happens when you die. No one can. But if this is our one shot; the only time we get; then it might as well be spent getting out there. Having an adventure. Living.

So despite feeling like crap and wanting to bury myself under the covers, I ventured out to go see friends last night; and I’m glad I did. It’s amazing how much difference good friends can make. Granted things lately – well. There’s so much drama in friend groups. People falling out, taking sides. It’s difficult to know where you stand. In an ideal world your friends would like all the same people you like and dislike everyone you don’t like. But that’s a very childish view of the world. A broken cognitive schema. It can’t happen – so you’ve just got to not let it get to you. Not get pulled in to the dramas. Life really is too short.

In 2008, when the worst thing that’s ever happened to me occurred; I got through it by telling myself; everything happens for a reason. It’s the only way I could get over it. Well not over, but I don’t know, a coping mechanism shall we say. That philosophy applies to me now; it’s given me a completely new perspective of everything.

So here’s to the next few months with lots to look forward to, lots of adventures, lots of laughter, good friends; to not letting the bad stuff get to you. Screw that, here’s to the next few years, here’s to the rest of my life.

Sorry for the cheese fest; (mmm, cheese) and lastly, a massive thank you to the good friends, you know exactly who you are. 

I’ve been feeling pretty nostalgic this past week. It started when I met up with a uni friend and we started talking about our lives; old and new. There was a point not long ago I never really looked forward to the weekend. It was because for me the weekend was never different to the week; it was just an extension of it. Actually I probably preferred weekdays because places like town were always quieter. I’d have a few hours of uni a week and the rest would be free for shopping, shoots, catching up with friends, whatever I wanted.  I miss that life of having all the time in the world.

It also occurred to me when I returned to work and told my colleagues I’d met up with an old friend, that I’d referred to him as a ‘old’. During uni my ‘old’ friends were people I knew from high school or earlier. Because uni friends were current and seemed new. But the more I thought; I’d known him for four years now, and I don’t see him, or anyone of them that regularly because of distance. I guess that sort of puts them under the category of ‘old’ friends. 

I did a double take with the pic. 

It’s mad how you lose touch with people. Some people it’s their fault. Others, your own. Sometimes it just sort of … happens. There’s no argument, there’s no fall out. You just drift. Life gets in the way. It is a shame when friendships fall apart; especially good ones.  It’s on my list this year to get back in touch with someone I’ve lost contact with. I’m undecided yet who I’m going to try and get back. There’s some people who are gone who I don’t want back, I can’t say I miss them so it rules them out. Others I do miss, a lot. It got me looking at old pictures, more nostalgia remembering times I genuinely cried with laughter and how mad that some of those people you there with, smiling away, saying your going to be friends forever, aren’t around anymore.

That being said the pictures also make me smile because some of the people that are still there. I remember a conversation I had with Jake in 2008. It was before we were dating. We’d not long started speaking again. He was telling me about the army, how he was joining up. I wasn’t enthusiastic. He told me not to worry, it was only for four years; and besides, In four years; I wouldn’t care about him. Yet four years on, he’s my world. That makes me smile. I don’t think either of us ever anticipated where we’d be now when we first met. I never thought out of everyone in my life at 17 that Jake would end up being the one constant in my life.

That’s my mind ramble over – update on actual life. It’s been a good weekend – lots of meeting friends; some old, some ‘current’. It was nice seeing Sam on Friday and reminiscing about uni, and then seeing Viliam on Saturday and reminiscing about times even before that.  Friday night was a wine night with the lads and that was lovely too. Apart from a select few females, I definitely prefer the company of males. Everything’s just so much more relaxed; you don’t have to tiptoe around your words. You can be as honest as you like without worrying about offending anyone. Then Saturday night was a meal with a group of people – and that was lovely. A nice meal, good company -I like getting closer to people who you’ve been aware of for a while, but never really known. The only down side for me is that I didn’t know them sooner. Then  Sunday night Ste and James came round to discuss ‘the movie business’. It’s an exciting venture for them, and it’s clear how motivated they are. Fingers crossed that will pay off and they’ll really go somewhere. For anyone interested in what it’s all about; check out their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/newmediacavaliers  ... if you're not interested, check it out anyway. You never know you might be surprised :) 

The move has worked out exactly as I had hoped. I’ve seen more of my friends these past few weeks than I had in months; and my calendar is brimmed full with various get togethers’, parties, and a group holiday on the cards. Life is far from perfect; as you’ve probably seen I’ve not been too well so I’ve got to work on getting better, I’ve got to work on finding a job I want to settle in (preferably with a higher salary – life’s expensive) … but to be honest, I’ve got a pretty good outlook on things right now.

There's a lot of negativity surrounding Valentine's Day I've noticed. If you genuinely don't like it then that's fine, you're entitled to your own opinion - but the whole "love should be celebrated every day not just one day" excuse for hating it sort of urks me. I completely, 100% agree that love is definitely worth celebrating every day. But, it isn't. Time and money doesn't permit it. Unless you happen to be a millionaire with no job and no commitments; you couldn't go for a nice meal every night, or buy nice food to cook a nice meal. You couldn't buy little tokens for your lover just 'cus everyday. So Valentines is a perfect excuse to do just that.

It's the same as St Patricks Day - you don't give a flying fuck about St Patrick, you still use it as excuse to get drunk. Or Easter (for the non religious) is an excuse to gorge on chocolate. Valentines Day is a nice excuse to tell the person you love you love them, and spend some quality time together; go on a date or have a nice meal - whatever floats your boat.

Anyway, just getting that opinion out there. Hope everyone who does celebrate it had a nice day. Mine was lovely, simple but, lovely :)

I shall update again now that we have finally sorted out internet! Hooray! Until then, au reviour :)

I think most of you know the main event going on in my life lately. The big move. It’s something that’s been top of my want list for a while moving back to Waterloo. It (or well, Crosby) has been my home since birth. Living in town had its definite perks but ultimately it was very much a place for a student. A place where going out dancing and drinking on a week night was the norm. That chapter of my life is behind me now. Don’t get me wrong I’m still partial to the odd night in town but it’s just different now. I prefer sitting down with banter over a pint or glass of wine. Living in Walton was the worst because; like town it was away from friends; but unlike town – it was away from everything else too. So being back were everything is just a short walk away is brilliant. Plus the drive to work only takes me 10 minutes more than it would have done so I’m not even loosing out there really. I still manage to get in around 8:30 every day and accrue 30 minutes flexi for those important shopping trips.

The place itself is lovely. Spacious. It’s really starting to look homely too now that most of the packing has been in done. It’s amazing the difference little things like photo frames make. A personal touch. We christened it with a small gathering on Tuesday night and that was nice too. I kind of like playing the hostess; I like looking after people. In fact it’s been a nice week all round. I had a few days off work and normally when that happens I spend it lying in bed til mid morning followed by shuffling around in my onesie eating crisps, playing PS3 and Facebooking. But instead I got friends round. Day 1 Charlotte came round and we had cups of tea and had a nice catchup. Then Day 2 Katie who for those of you who don’t know is my oldest friend. We met on the first day of Ursuline Reception and we’ve been friends ever since. Obviously with one thing and another; different high schools, universities, jobs – seeing each other doesn’t happen anywhere near as often as I’d like which makes the catch ups with her super lovely. I’m hoping living local will make seeing her easier too.

The only downside of the move is money is a bit tighter. You always forget things – little extras. I thought I’d worked out costs with tax and bills included and then you forget little things. TV Licenses. Eugh. Not to mention actually buying things like furniture. We did quite well at IKEA the other day admittedly but still. I’m viewing it as a positive though because it’s really pushing me to find a new job. Permanent and a little higher paying just to make things a little easier. Preferably a bit closer than Huyton too so I’m not spending half my wages on petrol. As well as that I think I need to get back to my calling. I like my job – but it’s more because I work with nice people who make it enjoyable to spend time with. I’ve got an interview lined up for something ideal for me; but I won’t say anymore – just; watch this space.

Not much else to report really. I remain a medical marvel to the point where on my eighth visit to the doctor; following blood tests, ultrasounds, biopsy’s and all manner of other tests – I was told they can’t find a solution – that I should go home and ‘live with it’ and only come back if I find myself in intense pain with it. So, once again, my faith in the health system and their competence has been shattered.

Other than that I’m pretty happy at the moment though. Life is good and heading exactly in the direction I want it to. Things are looking positive for Jake too in terms of new opportunities musically; which I know will make him happy. The only real bad thing going on at the moment is finding out who my real friends are. Or I don’t know. Maybe that’s a positive in the long run. It’s just got to the point where a lot of people seem to think friendship is a part-time thing. Maybe it’s just a case of different approaches to it but I know with me, if I’m needed, I’m there for someone. In one form or another. Oh well, not worth dwelling over.

We get the internet set up properly on Wednesday so more updates from then. But until then, have a lovely weekend.