So instead, I'm going to talk about what I've learned this year. School, college, university - they teach you; language, maths, general knowledge. You graduated and you go on to use those skills for a career. But the university of life - you never graduate. You're constantly learning, developing.
1. "I'm going to make sure 2013 will be the best year of my life."
The amount of times I've heard this is unreal. I try and think about it - and I can't really pinpoint the best year of my life. Every year of my life has been full of ups, and downs; and I think that's the same for everyone. We all have those days; can't find the keys, the car won't start, the bus is late, you spill coffee on yourself, your computer crashes and you loose you work - those truly horrible days. Everyone gets them. Similarly we get those horrible months, you maybe loose your job? Following that money is tight and then it affects everything else, you can't afford bills, rent. You start to stress and get sick. Maybe loose your home. It happens to the best of us. But then you also get days were; you catch every green light on the way to work, you get a compliment, you find a tenner on the street; and months where everything just goes right. But it never lasts the full twelve. Even what I'd consider the best years of my life have been plagued with illness, misfortune, even death.
My 2012 has been full of these ups and downs. I moved into a lovely new home in January - up. I got made redundant - down. I found a new job right away - up. I got diagnosed with an unfortunate and complicated illness - down. Went on holiday with friends - up. - and so on. It's literally been a zigzag of a year. Looking back, all my years have been - and it's kind of important to remember that.
So my first lesson for 2013 would be; don't let it swallow you when the bad things do happen. The worse the down times are, the more you'll appreciate the 'ups'.
2. We're all doing a Harvey Dent.
People fascinate me, they always have done. It's why I took Psychology as a degree. We're such a complex species. How many of us say what we're really thinking? How many of us laugh at a joke we don't find funny? When you see an old school friend in the middle of the supermarket, and they say "How's things?" - don't we all say, "Yeah things are good." or "Not bad thanks." How many of us say; "Actually, I'm really struggling right now, I'm really unhappy."
But than the problem is - the people who are brutally honest become dick heads. No one wants to really hear the truth, and when they do they get angry. But contrary to that, everyone hates liars. You can't really win with people. As a consequence we do become two-faced as a species. No I'm not trying to offend anyone here, or insult you; because it's actually an unfortunate consequence or being polite, of trying to conform.
Like being called a liar; being called two-faced is very negative; but it's - not malicious two-facery. It's just a social norm. Sometimes you have to do it to prevent people getting upset. Tolerance over aggression.
So my lesson from this is; you can't get upset about it. In life your friends will always be friends with someone you don't like. In an ideal world everyone would get on, all your friends would like and dislike the same people. But the world is far from ideal. You can't ask people to choose; especially because chances are, you also like someone they don't. So just get on with it. Be a bigger person and just appreciate your friends for who they are, not who the associate with.
3. A lot of people have got masks on.
I'm an emotional person who very much wears their heart on their sleeve. Of course I will always try and hold back if I don't want to show my emotion, but more often than not my watering eyes and quivering lip will betray me, or even the curve of my lips into a smirk as I fight back a laugh.
But not everyone is like this. Some people have mastered wearing an expressionless mask; or even, a mask with a false expression. Some people are capable of faking emotions; like happiness, even love. It makes me sad to think it's possible for someone to forge love; but I've seen it's possible. It terrifies me. As for happiness? Some of my friends who seem the happiest on the outside have the heaviest hearts. It's clear to see from my work that a lot of the people who come in; just to sit, have a cry, have a vent - are people who spend their social lives being the joker. Running around trying to make everyone else happy, and neglecting their own needs.
So lesson #3 - sometimes, it's okay to be selfish. You need to find a good balance, but you need to look after number 1. You can't please everyone, it's impossible. But if you make yourself happy, the people who really matter will be happy for you. It's also important to remember, you probably have no idea what someone is going through. So never take things out on someone else, we all have our own closet skeletons.
So my annual summary:
I have learnt a lot in 2012; of people, of life. Even though some of it has been difficult I can move forward to 2013 with a better head. I don't think I can change completely as a person, and I'm not sure I'd want to. I have traits I'm proud of'; traits that help me do my job. Empathy, compassion. But at the same time I need a stronger sense of myself and people.
Here's to 2013, I hope their are more ups than downs. If there are downs, I hope you have the support of friends and loved ones around you - nothing can carry you through like a hug, a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder
All the best guys.
