Ok so I'm so behind with keeping this blog up to date it's unreal!!

First of all, Jake's 21st has been and gone. The Saturday was a brilliant night and Jake seemed to really enjoy himself too which was most important. His cousin Lindsey came down from Cambridge with her new baby Noah, he was such an adorably cute baby and he made me feel slightly better in terms of chances of being a good mother because amazingly I didn't drop him!!

After that things have been reasonanly quiet. University has now finished for good except for exams, I got the timetable today and it's put the fear of God in me. I never understand why they seem to group the same subjects together so that your exams run consecutively. They all take place over the space of a month and a half so they could quite easily be spread out allowing sufficient revision time and your brain not to get scrambled, but instead I'm stuck with three in a row and then after 3 days, another 3 in a row. Meh! :(
It's this point in the year I kick myself wishing attendance had been better.

Although I'm not 20 yet, my flatmate Paul and I decided to celebrate our birthday early given everyone was going home for Easter. We had a fancy dress party in the flat followed by a night out in the Krazyhouse. It was a good night, but not the best probably because there wasn't very many of my actual close friends there. It was primarily Paul's friends. Nevertheless I had a good time.

So now its the Easter holidays and I'm attempting to plan out revision alongside my birthday, general social life and job hunting for when I'm done with exams. I sort of have a job lined up ready with Jake's cousins girlfriend BUT I'm really craving modelling again. I know that sounds odd but I just really feel like someone doing my hair and makeup and banging me in some gorgeous outfit. Hopefully I can find something!

I'll try add pictures asap and update this more often too!

Secrets

I've spent the majority of the morning being lazy, sitting at my computer and reading PostSecrets.

What's that you ask? Well its a website and a series of books of postcards people have wrote confessing their secrets. Have you seen the "Dirty Little Secret" video by AllAmericanRejects? That's full of them.

PostSecret - this is the site they're at if your interested.

Anyway I've been reading the site and there's something about it that makes you feel good about yourself. Not in a ... "haha look at you freaks way"... for me its more, "I guess I'm not the only one who feels so insecure". Its amazing how many of the secrets I've read and my hearts skipped because either now, or at one point in my life, its something I've felt.

Anyway the point I've realised is you should try and remember you don't really know anything about the people around you, even your closest friends. You don't know how their really feeling deep down or what they're having to deal with. Only about three people know my biggest secret and even then I only really wanted one person to know it just got out. I wouldn't tell anyone else.

But weirdly enough, I think I'd like to put it on PostSecret, theres something ... relieving about anomously confessing. If you do go on, see if you can guess which one is mine. ;)

March 1st - Rabbits!

March has rolled around fast. I would say 'too' fast but I have been really excited about March so I guess I can't really complain. I just feel like, I had so much to do before it came round, and I've got nothing done. In less than two weeks its Jake's 21st. Two weeks after that I'm 20. And two weeks after that. I'll no longer be a second year student. I'll be on my way to third year. That's kind of horrible too. Third year. My final year at university, when it seems like yesterday I was only just starting. Same goes for everything though. It doesn't seem that long ago I walked into the Ferndale and laid eyes on an eighteen year old boy, and now he's twenty one. It doesn't seem that long ago we were just starting, the constant texting, the sneaking kisses and first I love you's. Now we're planning to live together. I guess it makes me happy in some respects but its still scary how quick its all gone.

It won't be long before I graduate really. That makes me feel giddy. For more reason than one :)

Anyway I'm rambling about nothing now, so an actual blog topic. I've decided to go with cheating because its something that's been in the media a lot lately. Primarily Cheryl Cole being the main story but other minor celebrities too. Cheating's something I'm passionate about. (not in a good way.) To me, it should be a punishable offence. And I don't just mean getting a slap from your girlfriend/boyfriend sort of punishment. I'd rather shoplift than cheat. Because at least with stealing, no one really gets hurt. Not on the same scale as the devastation and humilation of the person you love betraying you. Not to mention, love, is something that should make you happy, should drive you to devote yourself to that one person in your life. If you cheat, chances are you either never where in love, or have fallen out of it. That's why I don't think I'd be capable of cheating, I couldn't hurt someone I love that bad. I wouldn't have the heart.

It must be worse for Cheryl Cole though. Because its not something she can keep under wraps. Everybody knows about her humiliation. And everyones encouraging her to break up with her husband, if she chooses not too, she'll probably be branded a fool. In my opinion she should break up with him, because hes turned around and said he's not really done anything wrong. And that's what gets me.

There's two type of people in this world. Good people who do bad things, and bad people. I have a knack for being able to tell which one a person is. The good people are the people who do make mistakes, they're not perfect and they slip up, but they admit it. They know they're wrong and they'll either try to make it right or make up for it. Bad people do wrong and then regard their behaviour as acceptable. Their the sort of people who go out with the intention of cheating, rather then getting too drunk and messing up. There the sort of people who brag about what they've done to their friends and would only apologise to their partner if they got found out; and usually their forgiven and go out and do the same because they can get away with it.

I used to know quite a few bad people but it became increasingly obvious they don't make good friends. They're selfish, two-faced and stubborn. So I've decided to make a point of avoiding them. I'm not saying the people in my life are perfect. But like me, their good people. They might be a bad friend one day, but they'll apologise. They might mess up. But they'll make it right. They'll feel the guilt that comes with doing wrong. And the shame. And that, will be the deterent so they don't make the same mistakes over.

Lets just hope I'm as good at telling the difference as I think I am!