Over the three weeks though I have also become aware of, well. I don’t know how to describe it really. Friends I had, whom I really cared about and assumed the same to them of me, have been going behind my back. The reality initially stung and I felt quite low after it, but then I thought it through. It was sad yes, but I don’t really need people like that in my life. People who try to bring me down when I’m otherwise happy for no apparent reason. People who betray me when I’ve been nothing but loyal to them. So I’m putting this out there... yes I’m not a perfect person. I acknowledge this and trust me, there are some things I’d love to change about myself. That being said however, I know I am a good friend. I’m there for people, I go out of my way to help them, I listen and I truly do care. So , if you want to be picky about my imperfections that go ahead ... but in all honesty – being so twofaced is far worse than anything I might have done. And ultimately, with or without them. I’m happy.
And ending on a happier note. This Friday is mine and Jake’s anniversary. Two years. In all honesty in seems like more. Three at least. I spent some of the earlier pre-internet days in the flat just reading chat logs. From the days before we were even together. They make me laugh, he used to be such a charmer, cheesy even but it still wooed me. And it makes me think, back then I had no idea that he would be anything more than a flirtatious friend, occasional kisses over copious amounts of alcohol. I had no idea he’d become my pillar of support in life, that I’d rely on him so heavily like oxygen. That I would fall utterly head over heels in love with him. But; I guess that’s life.
