Despite all the hype about last night it was really very ... average. The problem being simply there was too many of us out and everyone was after something different. I'd hoped for dancing, not just stand there and wave your arms a bit but proper dancefloor. Sadly we didn't even go to anywhere which offered this, it was only cramped bars and booths.

Seeing people was nice. But I guess thats all. I think for my 21st, I need an advance plan - to prevent standing about in the street pondering where to go.

Next on the list of things to look forward too? A trip to Fallen Angel on Wednesday to finally finish Jakes arm. It was his Christmas present and 20th birthday present off me in 2009 ... and his anniversary present in 2010. Its cost £660 to date. And its about to cost a final £180. Big arms. ^_^

But it will be worth it :) I know it will look amazing, it already does.

After the first session .... and on Wednesday I'll add the finished result :)

I have also just realised, its a Sunday. Today's Sub of the Day? Spicy Italian. FUCK YEAH!!!!

I had a lovely day today meeting a few girlfriends I’ve not actually seen in ages for coffee and shopping. It was really nice. I miss girl company sometimes, I don’t have that many close girlfriends if I’m honest and it was nice to have someone to gossip with and “ooh” and “aah” over shoes and dresses with. Even just sitting in Costa sipping coffee and gossiping. Its amazing the transitions that have happened in everyones lives this past year. I don't think its been an uneventful year for anyone, whether it be good or bad.

One thing it did really make me realise... is I’m so glad to be in the position I’m in. I’ve kind of wondered in the past, what uni would be like if I was single. Not in a regretful way just more curiosity I guess. But sitting there today hearing the stress of boys and dating, meeting people, the embarrassment of “club necking” now. It dawned on me if things go to plan, I won’t ever have these problems again.

I love when people ask, “How’s living with Jake? Have you killed each other yet?” And I smile because we haven’t, in fact there’s nothing I love more than him being the first thing I see every morning, and the last thing of a night. Curling up on the sofa to watch a film. And yeah, things might not be exactly like they used to when you first start dating and everything new and exciting... but he still gives me butterflies. I still get tickly feelings when he gives me that lopsided grin and tells me I’m beautiful. I get it really bad talking about the future. But most definetly in a good way. The best way - I'm looking forward to having my own home, a house I can decorate myself, .... well, not my own. Our own. :)


Tommorow will be my first night to town in ... months. I can’t wait. It’s not even the drinking so much as the dancing. Lots and lots of dancing :)

Birthday Dress ... :)

As my dear sweet boyfriend pointed out.... "You look like an amputee." No I have arms, thats a soft bed though, you lie on it, you sink a bit so the rest of my arm has sunk into the Narnia of the duvet.

I don’t think people ever stop wanting...
I have a pretty; seemingly endless list of stuff I want; a new tattoo, shoes, dresses, clothes, makeup, video games. But then there’s Thailand to save for. And I want nights out too.

Does it ever stop? Do we work to earn money to temporarily ease a satisfaction that will only grow again? Maybe that’s the meaning of life, to feed undying satisfaction.

Anyway updates – not a massive amount to report. I’ve not really been out since New Year in an effort to save money for the rest of the year. It will be an exciting year there’s no doubt, with my 21st, Thailand, graduation and whatever September might bring.
It’s going to be a difficult year too though, final push with university assignments, exams, my dissertation and finding a job.

I want to be a counsellor but well, I lack the money, and the time. I’ve been applying to HR jobs because it’s a stable job with a good wage. But honestly, I don’t think I’ll find it fulfilling. I might be wrong I don’t know, I have little experience of the area. But right now I’m thinking.... writer. I’m a writer already. Always have been. I love writing. My imagination is vivid enough, I’m naive and idealistic enough to write about love, about fantasy – but also mature and experienced enough to know to be realistic. Being J.K.Rowling doesn’t come easy ... some people never get there. We’ll just have to see what life has in store for me I guess.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I really enjoyed New Year's Eve this year. More than ever it proved the theory of 'It's the people, not the place.' All my friends were there and it was just nice. Plus I got very drunk, maybe not the best ending to the night throwing up and being firemans lifted out the door but oh well!!

New Year's Day was not so great. Storm the rabbit hadn't been well and his condition was rapidly deteriating. I ended up taking him to the emergency vets where the consultation alone was £77. She took him in for treatment but at 2:30am the phonecall came... Storm had passed away. Of course I was devastated. But in keeping with my new years resolutions, I have tried to control it. I cried when I heard, and a little bit the day after. But I've not been letting myself get too dragged in either. Jake's been amazing. In work the next day ... feeling exhausted, ill and wanting to cry and go home ... he came in with a little Lipsy bag. He knew I've seen a dress there I want for my 21st. At first I thought... he's bought me my dress? But the bag was too small. Turned out to be a gift card. It was incredibly sweet, and romantic. I couldn't help but smile. I went down to Lipsy on my lunch break and bought my dress.

Money is another thing I don't want to get too stressed over this year. Yeah, I don't have a lot. And sometimes I will struggle. But ultimately, its not worth worrying over... cus so many people are in the same situation. Sure forking out £150 for a dead rabbit isn't ideal. £60 for a dress. £40 for new boots I didn't really need but are so fit I couldn't resist. I am feeling better about my attitude to the year already, despite Storm and te bad start I think it will be a good year.

So, RIP, you were a brilliant rabbit and I'll remember you fondly... the day we first got you, hopping back up onto the couch and reserving the arm as your seat. You'll little squirrel face when you washed. Your binkies. Love you Storm <3