They are beautfiul things though.
It kind of makes me wish I used to keep up designing. I used to draw outfits, alot. Sometimes I copied them like, drew real existing clothes just to practice and other stuff I'd just design on my own. It was something I just sort of stopped doing, I guess mainly because my time got took over by other things; at 16 you start A-levels were more demanding, I started drinking and going out every weekend, other stuff just took over. It's worth thinking about getting back into once I get exams and graduation out the way though. As little success as I've had with wedding dresses, I finally managed to find a graduation dress - hooray!
It actually won't be that long now. I can’t believe how fast time is moving, with everything. March is such an exciting month for me. This coming week I’m off to go see Red Jumpsuit Apparatus play. I’m excited because it will be my first gig in a very long time (not including Plan 9.etc). Also I guess because we’ve been saving money Jake and me haven’t really had a proper date in a while. I know a gig isn’t a date as such but it’s still doing something different so :)
Then the following week, he’s turning 22. That feels strange, and sounds so much older than 21. My boyfriend, the 22 year old. Granted it’s still not really hit me I’m going to be 21 I still feel like we’re 17 sometimes. His birthday is going to be simple but nice. Plan 9 are playing a gig followed by just drinks with friends. I still probably will dress as a Leprechaun but ... nice and simple.
Then of course the week after it’s my 21st party. Not the actual birthday and to be honest I tend not to like it when people do loads of different things for their birthday but in Thailand I won’t see my friends and it means a lot to celebrate with them. I’m still hunting like mad for a dress for the occasion with no luck. It’s so odd, I normally never have trouble finding a dress. Infact it can be a curse the amount of times I see dresses I like. But oh well. I’m hoping between now and then I’ll definitely discover something to wear. I've got a 'reserve'dress just incase but we'll see.
And then of course the biggest countdown... Thailand. I don’t even think thats really hit me yet, it wasn’t that long ago we booked and were saying how we couldn’t wait. And now it’s practically here. And again it’s still making me feel like I’m young again because Jake going to Thailand last time was really the start of us. I remember standing in the train station the day before he left clinging to him begging him not to go. I never could have guessed three years later he’d be taking me with him.
I’ve said a few times about feeling young again in the blog but actually I’m going to contradict myself for a minute. There was an ‘incident’ this weekend regarding my flat, I’m not going to go massively into it for privacy sake but anyway, it’s left me feeling so, old. Good old. Mature. The other person involved is acting like a child. Getting his equally as childish friends to call me names and threaten me. Normally I'd be getting upset and worked up about it but I actually, I feel like laughing. I don't feel the need to call them anything back, to even react. I dealt with it calmly, I didn't let myself get stressed out or panicky. And it's all sorted now. Infact things have turned out better than even I could have planned.
It's made me feel very positive. It's nice to know that some things have changed, and I feel like I could really handle stuff life has to throw at me. The 'grown-up' stuff. Getting married. Getting a real, full-time job. Having a mortgage. Having a baby. It doesn't seem as scary or as daunting. In fact... it feels, right. And really, really good.
Long story short? I'm a happy bunny ...
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