“It never rains but it pours.”
My life of late has been this exact phrase – everything’s happened at once. But in some ways I’m glad. A lot of the bad stuff that came to a climax has been going on for months. Burden’s that I’ve been carrying for a long time I’m finally free of. i have said to a lot of friends that my hope is I have a rough two months so that I can get it all out the way – and I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Health wise I’m doing well. I had my review appointment at the doctors and they were able to give me the ‘all clear’. My operation was a success, and my heart is in full working order. My scars have healed to the point of barely visible too, so I’m not left with an unsightly reminder of what I went through. I’ve said this a few times I know; but just again quickly; a massive thank you to friends who were around for me during my op/recovery period. It meant so much to me. The operation has also motivated me to get my fitness at its peak. I’ll be easing myself in but the plan is to have a regular exercise regime to help myself stay as healthy as I can be.
What else has happened? My nan passed away last week. I didn’t talk much about her to anyone but she was very ill for a very long time. The word burden sounds harsh and unpleasant, but there is no denying the emotional drain that situation can have on you. Especially to someone like me, I like helping people, it brings me pleasure. So to watch someone I care about in pain, suffering – and me unable to do anything except maybe offer company – it’s not easy. I am sad, she was an amazing woman. She lived a truly tragic life but never gave up, even at the end she held on to the point medical professionals were astounded. Her strength was inspiring, but I am relieved that she’s no longer suffering. It was an unpleasant ordeal, death always is. But it’s a part of life, so I’m dealing with it in the best way I can, and plunging myself into being there for my family who maybe aren’t so headstrong on the subject. I actually spent a lovely evening with my dad sorting through old photographs. Some went back as far as 1950's when my nan was around my age. It was surreal, but it kind of got me thinking. In 60 years who will be looking at my photos. Will they stand the test of time?
A definite 'to do' list for this year is to take more pictures; and also to print more. I have a few albums but more can't hurt.
Other stuff happened over the last couple of weeks too, I can’t say too much on but it’s given me a clearer head, taken extra weight of my shoulders. I’m hopeful for the next few weeks, few months. Exciting stuff lies on the horizon both in home life and work life. I feel more like myself on many fronts, not just health wise but I feel happier in myself too.
I had my review in Counselling and my feedback was glowing. It made me so happy, I’m still on a high from it. Doing something I love as a career is a pleasure, doing something I love and being told I’m really good at it is incredibly rewarding. I already said in my last blog that I knew the direction I wanted to move forward with my life work wise, and this has just re-affirmed it.
At the start of this year I was confused, upset and unsure of everything. Now I'm happier, feeling more confident about who I am, where I am and what I want - it's very nice. Given that I have my social life back, my next blog will have a bit more of what I've been up to, and less of the vag waffle, promise.
No comments:
Post a Comment