Memoirs Of A Graduate

I could start this blog talking about how shit everything feels at the moment and continue on the downward spiral driving you all away 'cus no one wants to be friends with that constantly miserable person who is always harping on about how the world is out to get them. Or karma. Or God. Whoever you feel the need to praise when it goes right but curse when it all goes to shit.

My last two blogs whined about how things aren't good for me right now; and while nothings really changed and things are very much shit - I am finally coming round to the following realizations:

• While a good cry sometimes make you feel better and gets it out your system; sitting sobbing for a week straight just leaves you dehydrated with a mess for a face. 

• Friends; good friends, will be around when you need them. But if you don't say thank you and instead keep up with the 'woe is me' attitude, they'll get urked. They'll probably still stick by you, but they'll also probably want to smush your already messed up face. 

• Constantly over thinking and over analysing everything you could have done differently to stop things going wrong only means you end up not sleeping; which means again, your face is a mess, and your also more emotionally vulnerable...  vicious cycle. It's also near fucking impossible to find an affordable concealer for the problem so basically resign yourself to the fact your going to spend the rest of your days as a panda. 

• Loosing your appetite just means you drop weight ridiculously quick - which okay a lot of people out there probably are wanting to do but it's not healthy and just don't do it, it really has no beneficial outcome and you end up fainting all over the place and having to purchase belts to hold your pants up. And I fucking hate belts. I'm also not overly fond of fainting. 

• The appetite thing also means that when you turn to alcohol; which in your state of misery is frequent and often - you get absolutely sloshed drinking very little. Money saver, yes. But dignity saver, no no. And cause of the whole emotional thing you'll probably cry easier and be 'that girl on the stairs' at every party. 

• You loose all drive to do anything. Which means you end up eventually not looking after yourself. Which leads to illness. And living in a pit. And looking a mess. Then your depressed about all these things.

• Expecting other people to handle a situation the way you would is only going to lead to disappointment. . Waiting around for the expected outcome is a waste of time and the longer you wait the more disappointed you'll get. Loose respect for them by all means, but do it quickly, and then move on. Waiting for your closure will have the opposite effect of giving you closure. 

• To summarize; wallowing is just one vicious cycle of being a skatty, skinny, drunk, and disappointed-   sad panda. 

Yes there's worse things in life I suppose; but there is also infinitely better things. So from now on I'm making a more conscious effort to appreciate when things do go right, to appreciate the people around me who are there; through the good times and especially the bad ones, and to man the fuck up, grow a pair and get on with my life. If I start whinging again then you all have permission to knee me in the bollocks I just grew.