Memoirs Of A Graduate

So we had this icebreaker thing in work today for the benefit of the new staff. Personally I think the best ice breaker is some vodka and a game of ‘I Never’ because nothing breaks ice like dirty little secrets and alcohol. But alas – we did a profiling task. You answer a few questions about yourself, emotional intelligence – basic psychometric stuff - level 1 Psychology. Then you get your results and you have to read them out to everyone....

No ice got broken. A few peoples self esteem’s maybe. But anyway, the results were kind of interesting;

Your results show:
You Have Strong Relationship Management
You have the ability to inspire and influence others and sort out conflicts that arise. You have a good sense of empathy, and can make others feel at ease when they are upset or angry.

You Have Weak Self Regulation
You sometimes manage situations poorly because you are often too impulsive, which means your choices can be reckless. Take some time to think about decisions before you make them. 

The strength they got down to a tee. It’s why I want to be a sodding counsellor because I'm good at it. But yeah, that's a different rant for a different blog. 

The weakness, I do think I’ll agree with what they’re saying.... but personally, I don’t really think impulsiveness is a weakness; and if it’s my biggest one, I’m quite happy about that. Impulsiveness can be the difference between life and death. If someone steps infront of your car; you don’t sit and contemplate whether slamming on your breaks will hurt your neck or the best angle to swerve to minimise the risk of hitting a tree or flipping the car. You just act. You don’t see someone about to get shot and think how you’re going to dive infront in the best angle to not get hit more than a flesh wound.

Okay, extreme cases I know. Most people will not on a regular basis (if ever in their lives) find themselves in such a situation – but shush I’m making a point.

I don’t think it’s stupidity, even if sometimes; the actions it makes you do aren’t the smartest. If you see someone you love getting jumped by a gang – you know jumping in is going to end in a black eye, or worse. It wouldn’t stop me though. Not for a second.

Then I kind of thought about impulsiveness and realised it’s all about emotion – essentially, it’s about heart before head. Instinct before logic. That is something I’m guilty of. Wearing my heart on my sleeve. Something I’d probably describe as my biggest weakness. Because I am not capable of holding back my emotions – if you’ve upset me, you’ll know about it. If you’ve pissed me off, you’ll know about it. If you’ve made me happy... you’ll know about it. I’m a terrible actress – I can’t pretend I’m okay if I’m not. On those days where I feel like shit; I’ll look like shit. On those days were I’m happy; I’m grinning. Grinning like a dickhead.

So now everyone in work knows – I have a good read of emotions, I have good control over other peoples. But no control over my own. I guess, when you put it like that, it is sort of a weakness. 

But anyway, little mid-week ramble. Life updates - soon. Ish. Maybe. I don't know, shit's boring at the moment; and anything not boring is for the time being .... for some eyes only.