Memoirs Of A Graduate

‘What’ and ‘if’. Two simple words that most of us use on a day to day basis. But put them together and it can be quite haunting.... What if?

It’s a question I used to ask myself a lot when I was younger. I had some difficult experiences in my past that weren’t easy to cope with, and I continually used to ask myself over and over... What if? What if I’d done something differently, I wouldn’t have to be suffering. I’d mentally beat myself up over it. It’s different now, sort of. There are still lots of things in my life I can ask ‘What if?’ too. Both major tragedies and minor blips. But nowadays I tend not to ponder it quite so much because I’ve forced myself to believe everything happens for a reason. It’s a notion that helps me cope with most of the bad things in my life including probably the most painful.

 It can also be a positive though. Today I hurt my back and at one point I was lying on the floor unable to move. For those of you who’ve heard the story of me breaking my neck, it was similar to this. My mind started racing.... “What if I can’t get up again, ever.” My whole future of graduating, employment, walking up an aisle, having a baby... living my life. There was a horrible jolt of, ‘What if I can’t do all the things I dream of in life...?’

 Maybe it was overreacting but still it motivated me, enough to get up. It was agonising yes but I forced myself to stand and get to the phone. I wouldn't let myself remain injured or get worse, I'd make sure I got help. So there are some benefits to it, yeah normally its, regret. But it can be a brilliant motivator.

So readers, maybe it’s worth thinking about now. What if ... the worst happened. Not to be too morbid but, if you were injured, killed – but aware, what would you regret NOT doing. Telling someone how you feel, treating yourself to that new thing, phoning up someone you miss, trying that thing you're scared to do. If there’s something you can think of, anything at all, then I’ve got another two words for you.

Why wait?